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So my LJ will turn a new page [Nov. 21st, 2008|10:45 am]
Me and Jas have been discussing my documented history on here. There isn't much happiness in it. But my life actually has been quite happy for some time now. I've just forgotten to write it in here because I've left this place a prison for all of my darkest thoughts and deepest desperations. But over 6 months now, our love took a new step and we broke thru our wall. We have so much inspired for our future together. Our bond is restored and at it's strongest. I got to realize how much I love to just lay around and cuddle and I miss it badly at the moment. R&R was a sign that all of our online talks of deep confession and understanding were not of falseness. They were a true sign we had pulled through and entering the next chapter. We found love again. We got matching wedding band tattoos now. It's so special to look down at that all the time knowing he is doing the same, feeling that same warmth. I feel better than ever before, full of appreciation, admiration, and respect. That he sees me as the woman of intelligence and loves my soul for what it is. Religion was our constant battle but when we both decided to bring religion totally out of our picture and be open about our thoughts, it caused constant positive conversation. I'm finally getting to know who he really is and with that feel so much more comfortable in expressing my thoughts and feelings. I'm not afraid to tell him if I'm upset and doing it the write way and then letting it go. His last paragraph of his latest blog made me feel so proud because I think it's the first that he has publicly put his thoughts about his wife on the web. Other than comments on a few pictures, he has kept his views of his wife very secretive, I want people to know my husband thinks of me more than just "beautiful". I know my beauty will fade, but if he really loves ME, then I will always remain 22 sparkling and thin in his eyes. Just as I want people to know how intelligent and dedicated my husband is, how much he teaches me about dealing with my own emotions. How I admire him everyday for what he does and what he will do. Because I can rely on him and he can rely on me. I just have nothing to complain about now except the outside influences in life but in the end I'm satisfied knowing what I have in my home.

[User Picture]From: ochez76
2008-12-03 04:50 am (UTC)

The unknown

Considering your new level of love in your relationship with your husband, can you give some advice on what to think when one feels like they are just best friends who sleep in the same bed and snuggle and watch movies? No intimacy anymore, no routine...hard times I know but still...is it me or could there be an underlying issue if I feel this way?
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[User Picture]From: dizemama
2008-12-21 02:48 pm (UTC)

Re: The unknown

it's one of the stages. i would count snuggling as a level of intimacy but I know what you mean. You know that sometimes it is your body and not the relationship that is not becoming turned on..... sex is not a "need" for women we have no programming like men to release, you have no mental control of wanting to get pregnant, ya'll are past the stage of that new honeymooner feeling. You want him to be your best friend first before ya'll can ever reach real intimacy.Me and Jas hold cuddling as way more important than sex. You just gotta discuss with him what makes you feel intimate with him. It all comes down to sharing and finding together.
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